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A THRASHTOPIA Transmission From the Future… and Whitney Moore

WHAT’S UP, MY ALPHA DUDES!!! It’s me, Whitney Moore, AKA the raddest and baddest lil metal chick who can’t wait to tell you all about my new show, THRASHTOPIA!!! What the stinkin’ heck is Thrashtopia, I pretend to hear you ask? Well, it’s part talk show, part apocalyptic survival skills, party variety show, part heavy metal, part cyberpunk, part diary of my life in the future apocalyptic wasteland… It’s a lot of stuff! But one thing I can guarantee is that this show is loud as hell and you’re gonna love it! They don’t call it the Loudest Show on the Internet for nothing! Well, they don’t yet, but they will. Hey, after you’re done reading this, maybe you can spread that around! It’s pretty catchy, I think.

Anyway, you’re probably like, Ugh Whitney stop talking about your show and start talking about the friggin apocalypse!! Are we all gonna die or something? And the answer is yes, most of you die. I’m sorry. But I found a super cool underground bunker after the Cyberwars ended and totally tricked it out! It even comes with an AI robot (the benevolent kind, not the kind that succeeded in wiping out most of the human race) that makes sure I’m fed, not going insane, and not taking the M&Ms out of the trail mix rations. I’m pretty good with computers, so I got all up in that code and modded the robot to look like Jason Charles Miller! Have you heard that guy on guitar? He rips man, he rips. I call him Bunkerbot… He’s pretty much all I’ve got these days!

Even though most of the world has been obliterated and everything’s all gross and irradiated, plenty of fun guests stop by the bunker on their search for food and water. I like to see if they’ve got any fun stories from above ground, then we do a fun activity together. We close out the show with my favorite thing to do, mosh around and get out all of our pent up frustration from the apocalypse! Moshing is a great way to stay fit and release that existential angst that comes from being one of the few surviving humans on the planet. Also, BunkerBot throws down some heavy tracks!!

Thanks for reading this transmission, and I hope you come hang out with me and Bunkerbot on Thrashtopia! We need more friends, after all.

Thrashtopia kicks off Wednesday, November 15 only on Alpha. Sign up now and get a free 30-day trial! 

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