That’s right folks! Geek & Sundry’s intrepid team of travel correspondents have somehow found their way back to the office once more. Arriving in the wee hours of the morning via Corellian corvette, they’ve since been hard at work sifting through an entire galaxy far far away’s worth of travel tips. Unfortunately, due to an intergalactic case of jet lag, the only tangible political news I can get out of the team is that a lot has changed since the second Death Star went boom.
On a happier note, I can’t get them to shut up about the apparent onslaught of wondrous alcoholic drinks they consumed on the company dime. It would almost appear that I’ve inadvertently funded some sort of galaxy-wide pub crawl. Let’s, uh… let’s not mention that to accounting. Without further ado, here’s your planet-by-planet guide to drinking the Star Wars way:
Bespin: Once home to only a handful of not-quite-abovebord mining operations, recent years have seen Bespin converted to a travel destination, replete with luxury hotels that float among the clouds. Chief among them is Cloud City, still operated by the Calrissian trust. Many of the very same Ugnaught that once operated smelters and robot repair bays still run the hotel, and have concocted The C3PO, a unique golden cocktail apparently named after a particularly unlucky droid who accidentally left quite a few pieces of himself here during his ill-fated stay.
Corellia: Home planet of the tauntaun-slicingest, shoot-firstingest smuggler there ever was, Corellia has long been famous for its spaceport and shipyards, which produce some of the fastest starships in the galaxy. While shopping for (they assure me) entirely legal goods along Treasure Ship Row, our correspondents stumbled upon a purple and blue concoction simply called The Galaxy. Their utter lack of further details on Corellian living points to this recipe being particularly tempting.
Coruscant: Before our team began roaming the galaxy, they had to pass through galactic customs on the city world of Coruscant. The historic home of the Jedi Academy (RIP, younglings) as well as the seat of the now-defunct old republic, we can think of few planets with more reasons to seek out a good drink. For the last decade or so, the city planet’s Outlander Club has been holding a boozy annual vigil for the fallen Jedi masters. This year’s honoree: Qui Gon Jinn. His legacy, the Qui Gon Gin & Tonic.
Dathomir: Home to force-sensitive witches, rancors and massive spiders, this outer-rim world is not for first-time travelers. If you do make the trek, our lone correspondent to explore the planet recommends visiting the Singing Mountain, where a local and mostly-friendly group of witches just might be kindly enough to mix you one of their Black Widow Martinis. The presence of actual spider venom in the drinks is fairly likely.
Dantooine: A vacationer’s paradise, Dantooine is an out-of -the-way world steeped in history. This planet’s siren call has made it home to Jedi temples, a temporary Rebel base, and even a battle or two. Nowadays, the most dramatic things you’re likely to encounter here are the sunsets, which glow as vividly indigo as the local wildflowers. Local mixologists have developed the color-changing Indigo Blush in reference to the nightly display. A real must-try.
Geonosis: Once a literal hive of activity, the geonosian homeworld has seen better days. Generations of bad business decisions and political alliances have reduced the local fighting pits and arenas into a sad shadow of what they once were. The few watering holes that do remain stand as a testament to a bygone era. The Death Star is a popular drink in these locales, often poured over a single sphere of ice which the locals simply watch melt into nothingness while musing about “the good old days.”
Kamino: Tatooine’s famed Blue Milk has finally made it out to Kamino. The story goes that a recent, highly-cultured customer saw the omission of the cocktail as reprehensible. Since their guest was shelling out quite a bit of cash for his clones, the Kaminoans immediately offered to rectify the oversight, even going so far as to serve the Blue Milk in a martini glass, garnished with a pair of bright red cherries to symbolize their guest’s own glowing eyes. They’re calling the variation “the Thrawn.”
Naboo: Queen (later senator) Amidala is still spoken of with reverence in Theed, capitol city of Naboo. Many a queen has ruled since, but none have had the galactic impact that Amidala did. In Theed, as well as in the artist’s retreat of Moenia, even the seemingly unimportant details of Amidala’s life are showcased in every way possible. Thus, it is easy to see why at least one of Theed’s bartenders has whipped up The R2D2, a two-toned drink designed to emulate the long-dead queen’s loyal droid.
Tatooine: Whether you find yourself in Mos Eisley or Mos Espa, there’s just one way to drink on Tatooine: a lot. While blue milk may hail from this outer rim dustball, Jawa Beer has long been the drink of choice. Made from grain and Bantha hide, you’d be hard-pressed to call this concoction cosmopolitan. Still, if you do want to spruce up your drink, a few of the planet’s better-known cantinas have begin experimenting with beer cocktails. The best of the bunch? The Force. (Force Variant)
Forest Moon of Endor: As the location of the defeat of Emperor Palpatine and the death of Darth Vader (fingers crossed), Endor’s forest moon has become something of a mecca for travelers wishing to express anti-Empire sentiment. Sadly, the sheer volume of these visitors has taken its toll on local culture, and the once-primitive Ewok society has had to grow up in a hurry. Many of the locals begin drinking early and many has been the Ewok to accidentally fall to its doom after one too many rounds of Giggling Yodas, a boggy-looking concoction apparently developed by a “shaman” named Logray who claims to have met the “spirit” of the Jedi master at the very moment of the second Death Star’s destruction. Utter nonsense… but the cocktail is tasty.
Well folks, that’s about all I could coax out of our team before they passed ou… took a nap. Recipes are in the links above, so have fun! And if you’ve got your own awesome Star Wars drinks to share, post the recipe below!