Today is Amazon Prime Day, Amazon’s day of lowered rates and deep discounts. If you absolutely, positively need something awesome shipped to your doorstep, here is your window of opportunity. Open wide. But not everything Amazon has on offer is worth buying. We found several ridiculous items, none of which we would purchase for ourselves, not even in our low self-esteem days.
However, if you want to buy a gift for someone you hate, here’s a chance to show you don’t care—at a bargain. (Question for Amazon’s marketers: Why did Amazon make its “Prime” Day on the 12th when it could have chosen the 11th or 13th?)
“Um, why is this bozo dressed like Luke on Tattooine. Hoth outfit, c’mon! This tauntaun would die on Tattooine. It’s science.”
“The guy in the photo looks very pleased with himself but I’m not sure the tauntaun was fully consenting from the look on it’s face. We really need to stop exposing our kids to these images, people.
I mean, what adults and their favorite sci-fi creatures get up to in the privacy of their own home is their business but I think it’s a bit much for trick-or-treating is all. I’m afraid to find out what Leia is up to.”
But it turns out that this blob of fat has a real purpose as a motivational tool. As someone in the comments wrote:
“I purchased this to motivate me not to eat junk food. I even gave it a name. Fat Tony and I go everywhere together…. When I crave a Mc Whopper I ask Fat Tony and he always says no.”
Question: How much partying can you do in one weekend? Answer: Apparently all of it.
The hole is too small.
“I am wondering if there are ‘better’ coloring books out there for this subject.”
“I was always a very tentative person. Unable to decide on the simplest of questions, fearful of making a wrong choice or statement. I tried using a Magic 8-Ball, but the vagueness of the responses always left me more uncertain than ever.
“Then I discovered Schrodinger’s Cat Executive Decision Maker, and life became much more definitive. Its scientific philosophy gives its answers an assurance that more superstitious methods (the aforementioned Magic 8-Ball) lack. Its compact, futuristic design is a welcome addition to any desk. Supervisors cannot argue with or contest Schrodinger’s Cat, therefore it confers credibility on you; once Hesitant, but now Confident.”
“[D]on’t leave it lying around casually. The creepy, cold, dead eyes…they stare into your soul and will give you nightmares.”
What are you going to be shipping to your enemies on Amazon Prime Day? Let us know in the comment section below or give us some ideas for some of the things we should send off.
Feature Image Credit: Warner Bro. Films